Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Stuff My Patients Say (and do)!


Don't forget you can link up your favorite Christmas post with mine on my Tuesday post for a chance to get featured on my blog!
If you have been following my blog for a while, I am sure that you have caught on by now that I am a nurse and so is my husband. And over time, you acquire a collection of funny and or annoying stories that patients or family members say. As I worked the last 4 of 5 days, I thought I would share some of these. 

1. Do you want to see my scar? said a patients family member. No. No I do not want to see your scar. Seriously? I see bodily fluids, CPR, intubations, etc on a daily basis. I see scars all the time. Please do not pull up your shirt and show me your scar. Does this even need to be said?
2. Family members of patients walk around the unit and the patients room bare foot. Do you have any clue what is on these floors? Do you know what we do with the washcloths after we bathe the patient and clean him up? We throw them on the floor. Because your hands are too full controlling the out of control patient on the ventilator to throw it into the designated bin at the moment. Please don't walk where poop and blood have laid, without socks. And not to mention, a hospital is full of needles. GROSS!
3. Can I hook my oxygen tank up to the patients? Said a family member. Does this really need to be addressed? No, our hospital has a policy that we only serve the patient in the bed. Not the family. So next time, bring a full oxygen tank if you will be staying with your loved one for an extended period of time. Duh.
4. Can you run over to White Castle and get me a meal? No, for so many reasons. You are here because you had a heart attack. You are on the cardiac intensive care unit on a restricted diet. The hospital is not in a safe part of town to be walking about at 2am. I'm not even eating that as your nurse - I packed a salad. Does the patient really need any more reasons than that?
5. Here's my blowdryer. Can you plug it in and leave it on all night for white noise? Uh, that's what they make white noise machines for. Or a sound machine with a rain storm or even a fan! I am surprised her house hasn't burned up with her doing this! What a hazard!
6. Another nurse and myself walk into a patients room to find her smoking a cigarette. While she's on oxygen. Do you want to blow yourself up? And since when do you think you can smoke here? Really? Believe it or not, this has happened to me on two separate occasions.
7. The patient hollers in the hall and rattles the siderails of the bed to get my attention. While you did attract my attention sir, I am not a dog. Please use your call light. That's what it's for. 
8. So when do you finish nursing school? This one always makes me laugh. I have a big red RN tag on, I have been passing your medication and listening to your lungs, and handing our narcotics. Ma'am, I finished school three years ago. 
9. I will give you $20 for that propofol, said a family member. Propofol is the drug that killed Micheal Jackson. No you cannot have it, no you cannot pay me to get it. I am sure you can imagine the look on my face when I was asked this. 
10. Do you have to stick me? I really don't like needles. This one is my personal favorite. In my limited 3 years of nursing, I have not found one patient who was fond of needles. But yes, I have to do your blood work now. And yes, I know how it feels. Who do you think nursing students practice on during school? Each other. Now give me your arm.

Don't read this the wrong way - I do truly love and enjoy my job most of the time. And for the most part, these stories are just entertaining more than anything. Like any job, these are just moments you have to share :)
What's the weirdest thing you have ever been asked at your job?

38 comments:

  1. Wow you get some crazies in your hospital!! The one I hear a lot is about needles. I find it so ridiculous when a pt wants you to numb the area before a blood draw! Really, that'll take longer than me actually drawing the blood! And probably hurt more too!!

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    1. Isn't it though? By the time we finish discussing it we could have had the labs drawn!

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  2. Thank you for being a nurse - I could never, never, never do it! (I did think I wanted to be an athletic trainer when I was in high school - til I saw my first dislocated knee. Nope!) I work in college admissions and I get some dumb questions as well - including parents who think I'm still a student. At least we look young? :)
    - Catherine

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    1. Haha that's true - well look great when were 80! I worked two summers in admissions at a college in school. It was fun :)

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  3. #6 is hilarious and #5 I can see as being very dangerous…well 6 too haha! These are funny, sad but funny! thankfully nothing to odd asked of me on my job yet!! Thanks for all you do as a nurse!!

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    1. Bahah! Yes, most of the time you just have to laugh!

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  4. i would have lost my patience and said something lol! i couldn't be a nurse--not the icky stuff, but the people!

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    1. Yes the people part is challenging sometimes!

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  5. This cracked me up, I can only imagine!

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  6. It's crazy to think of some of the stuff people think is okay to do sometimes! So funny that someone asked you to go pick them up something from White Castle! Cute post!
    xo,
    Bespeckled With Freckles

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    1. I'm sure the look on my face was priceless!

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  7. Some of this made me laugh, I bet you encounter a lot of interesting characters sometimes being a nurse.

    Lauren,
    http://www.atouchofsoutherngrace.com/

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  8. omg! I can't believe the barefoot one! Yikes! And the hair dryer request is hilarious! I may or may not be guilty of the needle one! haha I am so bad with needles and blood I nearly faint!

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    1. Isn't that so gross?! People can be amazing sometimes!

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  9. HAhaha some people say the WEIRDEST stuff! So funny!
    www.amemoryofus.blogspot.com

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    1. Yes they do! At least it's entertaining!

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  10. So so so funny. Working with people is the most interesting job you hear and see some of the most insane things.

    Angi@ cantbuymelovvve.blogspot.com

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  11. omg. I would not have the patience for this. I could never be a nurse. This is further proof that I'm in the right major, as an architect I'll be able to sit at my desk with my head in my own work 90% of the time and not have to deal with people. haha.

    daughterofasonofasailor.blogspot.com

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    1. Haha but we need architects too! Sometimes I wish I had a job like that after I have a really rough day!

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  12. Girl, this is hysterical! I hear some crazy stuff teaching in a high school from both students and parents, but given the fact that my students discovered my blog, I can't do a post about it. Once I leave the teaching profession, that's my number one blog post I'll be writing. I may or may not have already started drafting it. :)

    champagneandsuburbs.blogspot.com

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    1. Oh my gosh I am sure you do! Kids are so funny!

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  13. Hahaha these are crazy, I cant believe someone asked you to go to White Castle for them, what are these patients thinking?!
    -Alex
    http://www.monstermisa.blogspot.com/

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    1. Haha I don't know!! I'm sure my face was priceless!

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  14. Becky, these are SO hysterical!! My mom is a nurse and tells similar stories... too funny!!

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  15. Haha!! People are crazy! The cigarettes?! wtf! I've been in hospitals so much that have no issues with needles. I think the nurses are always surprised when I throw my arm out and continue chatting. Stick away sweetheart!

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    1. Haha you're the patient that we all love!!

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  16. These are great! My mom has been a nurse for 36 years and she always has great stories to tell!
    xo,
    Jacqueline

    stylinistlouis.com

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    1. Oh I'm sure her stories are so entertaining!

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  17. omg I can realate. I get people asking to show me their scars/wounds all the time (seems to be a guy thing...? lol) #medstudentproblems lol

    :)

    AJ | TheAJMinute

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  18. Haha thank you for sharing this! So funny to read - probably not to deal with all day, every day!

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  19. OMG! I love this post! It's unbelievable the types of patients and families there are out there...and the names that people name their children. That's one of the funniest things about working in the PICU.

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  20. Some of these are just ridiculous---I'm glad that you caught the smokers before anything lit up. Also, walking around barefoot is just gross; I'm disgusted just thinking about all the bodily fluid remnants that they could've waded through.

    Brittney

    anotherbeautifulthing.blogspot.com

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